On the Yankees
- (on the Yankees) Their uniforms are so clean because they are too slick for dirt
- (After seeing Tony Womack dog it on the basepaths) I need to cast an elemental shift spell on baseball (*bonus points if you get that reference*)
- (On Derek Jeter) Look at those skinny thighs! Does he not run??
- (on Randy Johnson) Too ugly for baseball! Get him off the TV!
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